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Todd and Brandi Oct 2003 Wild Bunch Hedo-Ween
Trip Report

THE TRAVEL
All in all, our travel to Jamaica was fine. We flew out of DFW connecting in Miami to Montego Bay. The worst part about the trip was trying to get home. Apparently, there was no plane in MoBay to get us back to Miami. When one finally arrived to get us to Miami, we missed our connection to Dallas. We had to spend a night in Miami and leave the next day. It would not have been bad except for the fact that we were treated like we were scummy imbeciles! I am not kidding. When I got home, I wrote a 3 page letter to American Airlines telling them about the extremely poor service. We got a $400 voucher for our troubles. It pays to be a squeaky wheel sometimes.

THE ARRIVAL
All was well here. Todd and I had been to Jamaica before and we knew about the bus ride, so I loaded up on some Red Stripes for the ride. Everyone on the bus told the driver not to stop, and he didn’t. When we arrived at the front desk at Hedo III, we asked for Michelle and someone went to retrieve her. As we were waiting, Wild Walt came up and greeted us. Michelle came out of her office and checked on our room and told us it was ready. We were starving, so we opted for food and drinks first with Walt. No problem mon! After that, we dropped our stuff in the room, got our cups, and headed to the nude pool. We had never traveled with a group before, but seeing all the pics of the Wild Bunchers helped us to recognize them as we met. Everyone was very nice and made us feel very welcome, like old friends.

THE RESORT
Todd and I thought the property was decently cleaned and not shabby at all. There was a lot of painting and such going on the entire week we were there. So I guess you could say they are really trying to stay on top of it. The tiled areas surrounding the pools can be a little tricky when your fee are wet, so wear some shoes or walk real slow with baby steps.

THE ROOM
Well, what can I say? A king-sized bed with a mirror on the ceiling. It’s so sinful! The tub was extremely small for a jacuzzi tub for two and ridiculously difficult to get out of without breaking your neck due to the slippage factor, especially after a day of WooWoo shots and Dirty Bananas. Use the towel rails or something else to grasp when getting out. The maid service was great. We always had fresh towels and everything in place. If you must use a hairdryer, then bring your own. Otherwise you will suffer with that small one in the room and be the victim of many bad hair days. The AC worked a little too good for my taste, but at least it was working. The water pressure sucks, so don’t use quite as much shampoo as you would at home. And the water temp in the shower would change a lot during the shower. Aye chihuahua! There was one morning, however, that there was absolutely no water. Didn’t matter anyway because we were heading for the nude pool. We were in the 500 block and it was pretty quiet over there.

FOOD/DRINK
Everything was tasty. We really enjoyed the omelettes in the mornings. I always had a burger at the nude pool and Todd always had jerk chicken for lunch. I think the next trip we will make a point of having lunch in the main dining room. For dinner, we either ate with the Wild Bunch or we ate either of the two restaurants, Pastafari and Munihana (sp). Pastafari was okay in the food division, but the service we had was outstanding. We ate two dinners at the Japanese place and both times was great for food and service. We also thought the service in the main dining room was good. Sometimes a little too good. One night we went through the buffet line, set our full plates on the table, did a couple of pics, and when we returned our plates were gone. Oh well. And as for drinks, they have just about every kind of liquor, some wine, and Red Stripe. But don’t order complicated drinks unless you know what’s in it because they may not know how to make it. Take a big insulated cup because their cups are super small. If you stick to one kind of drink, the bartenders remember and you almost never have to ask for a refill.

ACTIVITIES
There is a lot to do and H3 staff will keep you busy if that’s what you are looking for. As for us, we just had fun soaking up drinks and sun and visiting with new friends. The best thing is that all activities are included in the price. This would be a great place to learn to dive or windsurf or sail because it’s all included. The shows at dinner were so-so, but hey, it’s not Vegas folks! The disco was super freezing and very, very loud. I will take earplugs next time. My only disappointment with the disco was that on the Disco theme night they played no good music. I was expecting BeeGees or Gloria Gaynor and instead got Eminem.

MEMORABLE MOMENTS
Cheryl stripping on top of the piano.
Jae and Holly doing the 69 on top of the piano.
Walt’s description of Cheryl carrying all her stuff around. It was a perfect description.
Chip putting lube on his butt before going down the water slide at 4 in the morning. He managed to keep his drink in hand too.
The guy walking around with the cowboy hat and the biggest thing I had ever seen in person.
Serena at the nude bar. She was the best bartender!! And she takes no shit from anyone.
Michelle - because she made sure we got what we needed if she could make it happen.
Doing kamikazi shots at the piano bar the Wild Bunch way.
The Kinks hanging out with the Wild Bunch.
Watching Todd doing one-arm pushups in the Mr. Nude Beach contest. I had no idea he could do that!
Meeting a lot of really cool people.
BODY SHOTS!
The last night at the Japanese restaurant. The “sushi” was great, but we made a big mess. I think we gave the best show that night.
Parting with new friends at the bar on top of the Scotch Bonnet.


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