Do's Dont's & Etc
Another page from our Wild Bunch
Do:
A little research on when to time your vacation...
Cheaper rates often means lower occupancy rate.
March and June usually means younger average age
September and October are the months most prone to hurricanes.
January means more lifestyles folk.
Pack lightly,even prudes don't wear much.
Take along some risqué outfits, lingerie,thongs, etc.
Cherk the activities in case you want to prepare for any costume nights etc
Go with an open mind to respect others, both guests and staff.
Be laid back, don't rush...
Use first names only, no work talk needed
Try going nude, if you haven't before. Once done,it’s natural.
Have the time of your life.
Don't:
Think it is a castle... but clean and comfortable.
Expect gourmet food... but food is plentiful and out of this world.
Worry about swinging (or whatever)... a simple NO THANKS works well.
Think you need to go with a group. It’s easy to get acquainted.
Worry about your body. Odds are youll look better than most!
Expect single women to be in abundance. Generally many more single males.
Be Timid. You will find most everyone is just like you.
Be a leech.
Take Jewelry
Try to gauge whether personalities are meshing.
Be a voyeur, hanging around leering at nudes. (Always a pitiful few.)
Drink toooo much... you may lose valuable Hedo time hungover.
Getting off the Airplane
First, fill out the customs and immigration forms on the plane. Take a pen with you. Each form needs your signature.
The customs declaration is signed on the back (it’s easy to forget). You’ll
need either a passport or both an original birth certificate (with seal imprint) and a driver’s license with photo.
(Couples, you will need to fill out forms for each different last name.)
There aren’t any jetways in Montego Bay. Thus, you’ll deplane the old-fashion way—walk
down stairs into the tropical atmosphere. You’ve arrived!! You’re in
Jamaica!!! The walk to immigration takes about five minutes and you’ll
go up a couple of flights of stairs. As you enter immigration (on your left)
there are bathrooms that hardly anybody notices--they are typically the cleanest
you can find until Hedo, so if you're slightly in need.... Then be prepared for
long lines. They often open up more stations, so if you’re alert you can skip
to the head of the line. But it really doesn't matter because (if you're
riding the bus to Hedo), the bus won't go until everyone has had time to
assemble. Present your ID and immigration form. Once you clear immigration,
then you'll reclaim your luggage from a carousel and go through customs.
They have carts that you can use. Present your ID and customs form. Go
straight out of customs, take a left at the first aisle, and go to the far
wall. Big sign saying "SuperClubs". Tell them where you're going (Hedo)
and they'll make you fill out some hotel forms to pre-register. Then
you’ll wait. Just until everyone gets there. About 10-20 minutes unless
you’re the last. Then a couple baggage handlers will take everyone's
luggage out to the bus. You'll be amazed at how much stuff they can
handle. They'll want a tip--at least a buck a bag.
To the Bus
Then you're off to Hedo. To look at the coast/ocean, sit on the right side
of the bus, inland on the left. And, they drive on the left...wait until
you get on the first traffic circle! It won’t be long. It takes about an
hour and a half. Two hours if they stop for a drink at a bar about a half
hour from the resort. Someone always wants to stop and they will because
they get a kickback. Three bucks for a Red Stripe. (They accept American
dollars anywhere, so don't convert. The conversion rate was $1 US = $45 JA.)
in May. 2001. When you get to the resort, take your papers to the front
desk. They just computerized the check-in. On my last trip, they had the
keys ready in 5-10 minutes (fast by Hedo standards). In the old days, they
always told you to go to the bar (or lunch) and come back in an hour for
your room key. So, bring some sunscreen/beach stuff (suit?) in your
carryon if your coming early in the day so you can just head on down
to the beach. Or, go have a drink.
Things to Bring
Camera Digital is nice, dont have to worry about what you are
having developed. However, you will find that around nudity
you are discouraged from taking photos. Video cameras are nice
too, but you will find them hard to keep up with.
Jewelry Advice is to leave the good stuff home. Better yet leave it
all at home. (You wont wear it anyway).
If you leave the hotel, crime in Jamaica is high and you dont
want to attract the wrong people.
Big insulated mug (for drinks, they warm up so quickly. The staff will 3
completely fill it with ice, so there is really not all that much to
drink in one. BIG is up to you--Take a 32 oz that you can buy at QT gas
station for $2.29--they'll even fill it with coffee in the morning). ·
Bring toys (you're on vacation)-
Temporary tattoos,
Love" dice,
Glitter,
Flavored lotions,
Shaving cream (butt-crack tours or shaving previously unshaved areas),
Pre-paid phone calling card from AT&T. Sam's has the best price ($17 for 200 minutes).
Call home from the lobby. Conversion rate is 8 minutes (U.S.) = 1 minute
Treats Jamaicans think fruit is desert. Even when they have chocolate,
it's bitter. So, a couple of bags of M & Ms
No problem getting fat grams here! Also, at sunset, jerk
chicken and red snapper escoveitch--the best!
Whistle Lanyard best way to keep track of your room key card.
Woolite Put a little in a small bottle to wash out something. If you wear
it once, it needs washing.
Binder clips holds towels on the chairs if you don’t get a float cushion
and to hang things to dry on the room curtains once they’ve drip
dried in the bathroom.
A belt and some safety pins for use in creating your toga for Toga
night (Thursday). Accessories—anything to jazz up your toga.
Sexy clothing Women this is your place to strut your stuff. See-through
to peek-a-boo are always seen. Remember, a hard body is nice;
but attitude is everything.
Take your sexiest/funniest/leather-iest/virginal-est outfit
for PJ nite (Tues).
No matter how outrageous you think you're being, you won't be. Plus,
you'll have it. If you leave it at home, you won't have the option.
Prizes are given out for various categories. If they take your name at
the door—you’re a winner! 3
CD's and/or cassettes, there is a player in the room.
Money Bring a supply of $1 & 5 bills for tipping porters/etc.
Don’t accept your change in Jamaican money (they’ll try).
Water shoes A must if you’re going in the ocean due to the rough
bottom (coral) and sea urchins (spiny!).
Sandals You can go barefoot if you’ve got tough feet. The asphalt
paths have sharp stones embedded in them and get HOT.
Packing
DO NOT OVERPACK!
There are two schools of thought at Hedo when it comes to packing.
The minimalists think that you shouldn’t take anything that you don’t
use (and how much stuff do you need on a nude beach?). The other
school thinks that if I don’t have it, I’m not going to be able
to get it. You really should only need one bag and a
carry-on. See below about the carry-on. Although there is not a lot
of storage space in drawers, there is a lot of room
to hang stuff in the closet For
each person there are plenty of drawers in the dresser, and a
nightstand, and safe(s)).
For some reason, it also has an iron and ironing board. When you are
finished packing for your trip, go through your suitcase and remove half
of the clothing that you have packed........(then remove half again as
much....) One shirt a day and a pair of shorts per day is more than
enough. You do not need to dress up for any meals and can wear beachwear
anyplace, except The reservation type restaurants, the Italian sit-down
restaurant, does require shoes to be worn and you must wear clothing
there (they also do not allow tank tops...). For men, the preferred
dress is a shirt with a collar, shorts, and shoes (tennis). For women,
this is where you wear your dressup outfits (or shorts/blouse).
Carry-on.
When going to Hedo, the carry-on can be your most important piece of luggage. If you’re coming from a cold
climate, you’ll need a carry-on that can carry an immediate change of
clothing or you’ll burn up! Air conditioning is not an option on the bus
or airport. It will be hot and humid.
Carry-on. If you arrive at Hedo early (before dinnertime), your
room might not be ready. (In the past, might not translated to wouldn’t.) At
this point, you need to change to your beach togs (suit, hat, sunglasses,
and sunscreen). Do you want to dig through your bags? If you know someone
there, you can leave your carry-on stuff in their room and valuables in
their safe.
Activities
Every day at Hedo has some differences. Check the activities
board in the main dining room and at the Dive shop.
This lists all the scheduled activities for the day in English
and Spanish...Activities are always subject to change. You might
look at the schedule on our system as we try to keep it up to date.
Day trips
There are a lot of local places to visit in Negril, and they
can be reached by hiring a cab or bus at the hotel for a fee. The roads in
Jamaica are not the best. Distant travel to other parts of the island
can be all day or longer excursions. There are regular scheduled tours
daily listed on the boards or ask at the front desk. There is almost
always a bus to Rick’s Cafe in the late afternoon and returning after
sunset. Reservations for Restaurants are made at the Tour Desk (opposite
registration). It is closed on Thursdays (Toga). The small bars are
great places Hedo. Before and after dinner, it is a nice
place for a quiet drink.
Hot tub
Plan on spending sunset to (sunset + 1 hour) at the
nude hot tub. We call it Happy Hour. Die hards make that (sunset - hour)
to 7:30 (when they treat the hot tub). The hot tub also gets crowds around
10, midnight, and 2 a.m. (but it’s not that exact). Lots of people end
their day with 15 minutes in the hot tub; but, being Hedo, sometimes
that stretches to an hour or two depending upon the company there and
the quality of shows. (;>}}
Daily Activities
These activities are highly biased; i.e., things
I’ve been known to do or thought I might do…. Prude beach activities
probably occur, but how would I know? *If you can sing, please come
join us, and SING. This is can be one of Hedo’s most entertaining
events. Really depends on the crowd ** If you can’t sing, come to
this (cause I’m not normally there.) I’m kidding! *** If you have a
talent and want to perform, here’s your chance. You can borrow an
instrument from the band (normally).
Nude Cruise.
As always, a lot of fun. The price has been raised recently. And
in many cases does not run out of Hedo III.
The cruise lasts about three hours and goes to a reef for snorkeling
(coral and small fish). Then it goes to the Caves and Pickled Parrot.
A lot of the people use the rope to swing off the cliffs or the water
slide. The cruise begins 50-50 clothed and was 90-10 nude by the end.
Steve still gives foot massages. No food. Red Stripe, Rum Punch, Pepsi,
and Ting to drink. Also Sunset Cruise, second cruise in a stay gets a big
discount.
Phoning Home.
Supposedly cell phones can be used. First, one is required to go somewhere in
Negril and post a (large) cash deposit to activate the phone. Then, sometimes
they work, sometimes they don’t.
What hear done is take a pre-paid phone card. It almost has to be an
AT&T pre-paid phone card (although I’ve heard that Sprint will work, but
remember where you’ll be).you can buy a card from Wal-Mart ($42 for 250
minutes and then one from Sam’s $17 for 200 minutes). AT&T converts your
US minutes into Jamaica minutes at a rate of 8 US to 1 from Jamaica. Call
from the lobby phones which are in a little room opposite the registration
desk. Dial 872 to access an AT&T operator, wait about 15 seconds to hear
“thanks for using AT&T”, then follow the directions on the back of the
pre-paid phone card. Works like a charm! We had the other people call us
back in our room (five minutes later), so it only cost us “1” pre-paid
minute to call the U.S. We heard from people who had called from their
rooms that a 1 minute call cost them $35 last year.
First Aid Items
Normally you should have what you need to take care of small ills and
injuries. There is a nursing station Should something serious happen
to you, advice is: get
emergency care in Jamaica and then get to the States as fast as you can.
First, a cab ride to Montego Bay (only two cities with X-ray machines
on the island, the other is Kingston). Medical care is at a minimum. So dont
expect much.
Sunscreen
Pack it inside into two grocery store bags in your luggage.
Take three strengths. One for parts that don’t normally see the sun and a
weaker one for the rest. Towards the end of the week, reduce the strength
of both.
Plastic Bags:
Quart zip-lock (snacks, paperbacks), grocery store bags (hardbacks)
and large (40 gallon) trash bags (great to put everything in (towels,
books, etc.) if caught in the rain). Also, can be used as a poncho if
rain never lets up.
Asprin:
Dont want to ruin a fun time with a sun headache.
Band-Aids
Triple antibiotic cream
Hydrocortisone cream
Bug spray
Aloe Vera gel
Immodium A-D (and Lomotil (prescription A-D))
Athlete’s
foot cream
Antihistamine (pills and Benadryl cream for sun poisoning)
Pepto Bismol
Tums
Birth control pills (I threw this one in to save some ruined trips!)
Mole skin (for blisters)
Condoms
Eye drops
Ear plugs (you might get a “disco” room)
Aspirin, Tylenol, and/or Advil.
Sex and Nudity
Got your attention now! Hedonism is a place that is as wild
or mild as you want it to be. You will see nudity if you’re on
or near the nude side. You’ll see brief nudity in the dining hall and/
during some of the shows (by the GUESTS). I’ve
never seen any member of the staff naked (I wish! They are all sooo cute).
bring something). If you want to escape without seeing nudity, then
avoid the some of the lunch time spins (especially wet T-shirt contest—they
don’t seem to stay on long). Where is nudity acceptable? Obviously the
nude beach/hot tub area. Many guests will go back and forth to their
rooms sans clothes. Some militant guests will go to their rooms on the
prude side, nude if that’s what they paid for and have been “bumped” for
a night or two. Women go topless on either beach. (“It’s my period.”
Sorry, guys, it won’t work for you.) The nude beach officially starts
at a sign posted on a tree (“Nude Beach – No Photography”). Next to this
area is a strip of beach that buffers the nude from the prude beach and
is used by all the guests. Also, this brings up photography on the nude
beach: Never take photos without the permission of everyone! Many people
have careers at stake should a photo of them show up on the internet. Make
sure that there is no one in the background or next to your subjects.
Although it isn’t really acceptable for nudity anywhere else on the
property, sometimes it is seen. Remember that over half the guests have
been nude all day (and most, drinking). Exceptions: nude volleyball in
the main pool after midnight, PJ nite (well, they really aren’t nude;
but they sure aren’t hiding anything—more like accenting), and briefly
in some of the shows or acts (briefly by guests). Where is Clothing
Unacceptable? At the nude
hot tub, nude pools, and nude bar (24 hrs/day) and on the nude beach from
sunrise to 7:30 p.m. After dinner many people will stroll on the nude
beach. Just be considerate and don’t bother anyone. Should you decide
to cruise the nude beach during the day (while wearing a swim suit),
don’t be surprised if either a security guard asks you to leave or if
guests take it into their own hands (literally). Normally, a woman guest
will try to get you out of your suit—with or without your cooperation.
I’m addressing this to guys as women normally aren’t a problem about
this. Sex. The management at Hedonism condemns public sex. However, sex
at Hedonism is the rule rather than the exception. Most of it takes place
in the rooms, but some seems to spill out into public venues. Flirting is
a sport played nearly 24 hours a day at Hedo. Sometimes it progresses
(publicly) if the parties involved are willing. Some weeks are wilder
than others. This doesn’t mean that you’ll see it:; it seems that someone
is always telling me “you should have been here a half hour ago (or last night).
This doesn’t mean to imply that it’s an constant activity, just that it happens
spontaneously. Public sex seems to happen in the mid to late afternoon,
mostly in the cool jacuzzi, fountain pool.
Later in the evening and late night, the
hot tub and beach are added as active sites. Where else can one fulfill
the fantasy of making love on a moonlit beach? Some people appreciate an
audience, but it’s rare that they want others to join in. (So, guys give
these people some space. Also, it’s not polite to stare.) It is not too
unusual for small groups to enjoy each other from time to time. Normally,
it’s two or three couples coupling. It’s also not unusual to see two women
together or with one guy. It would be quite unusual to see two guys
together. These activities may not happen every day (or week), but
often enough not to be atypical. For couples and groups giving public performances,
it is not unusual to applaud and cheer after the climatic moment. I’ve
often thought of taking “point” cards, but never have gotten around to
it.
Lifestylers (Swingers). There are certain weeks (2nd-4th
week of January, 4th of July, and 2nd week of October) which are sponsored
by Lifestyle travel. These weeks tend to have more people interested in
well, you know.
Thursday (Toga Party) is the night that you’ll see the most flesh at dinner
as people’s togas vary from virginal to vestigial. On any given night you
might see some revealing outfits since Hedonism is one of a few places that
women can flaunt their bodies. Often repeat groups will pick a night and
declare it “slut night”, a night where the whole group will wear their
most revealing and flattering outfits. Sometimes it has a theme, sometimes
not. Generally the word will get out so all can join in (but you had to
All the people you will met will be quite nice, ordinary people.
I don’t know why everyone thinks theyll all be young, hard bodies (By the way,
we weren’t harassed
in any way --if you’re worried about this group. But, they were very open
and friendly…what I expect of Hedo people on the nude side.) Over the
years, I have been approached and found that a simple “No, thank you. I’m
flattered, but not interested.” works quite well. If you’re interested, well, you know
how to proceed.
Security and Sex Cops.
One of the many pluses of Hedo
is the abundance of security. They are there to protect the guests and
keep interlopers off the property. They also deal with the drunken
(or stoned) guest who’s being obnoxious at 2 in the morning. They make
it possible for a naked lady to walk to her room from the hot tub at 1
a.m. and feel somewhat secure. (However, bad things can still happen.
Don’t leave your common sense at home.) Sex Cops is the name the
guests have given to the security guards that are supposed to enforce
the rules concerning public sex at the resort. The enforcement is
typically quite inconsistent (one necking couple told to knock it off and
other couples doing far more, ignored). Generally, the sex cops don’t
really inhibit the spirit and action too much, especially later at night.
During daylight hours they seem to try to hold the line, at least on the
beach. They also try to keep clothed guests from lingering on the
nude beach.
Drinking and Liquor.
Hedonism is all-inclusive, but doesn’t stock all liquors.
Beer is Red Stripe.
Wine is white or red.
The italian Restaurant has a greater selection of Italian wines
and one champagne (and cappucino).
Soft drinks are easy—Pepsi, diet Pepsi, 7-up, and TING, a Jamaican grapefruit soda.
Also, cranberry, orange soda, and Jamaican ginger ale (which packs a real
wallop!—it’s got ginger).
Each bar carries a different selection of liquors. All are well stocked with
Jamaican rums and liquors, generic liqueurs, and mixers.
In addition, there are some brand name liquors:
Scotch: Dewar’s,
Chivas Regal,
J&B,
Teachers,
Johnny Walker (red and black).
Whiskey:
Canadian Club,
Jack Daniel,
Jim Beam Black,
Southern Comfort,
Seagram Seven
Gin:
Tanqueray,
Beefeater,
Gordon
Vodka:
Stolle,
Absolut,
Smirnoff
Tequila:
Jose Cuervo,
Charro
Liquors:
Bailey’s,
Sambuca,
Grand Marinier,
Drambuie,
B&B,
Crème de Menthe,
Amaretto, ….
This list isn’t complete, but It'll give you an idea.
Not all bars carry the same stock. Get to know your bartender and he will
stock what you want to drink, if you ask nicely. Shots and Shooters are
popular, especially at the discos. Youll soon find which bar makes the best
shooters, just don’t end the evening too soon.
Other Sources of Information.
There are many sources of good information about Hedo.
Books: “The Naked Truth about Hedonism II, A naughty but nice guide to
Jamaica’s all-inclusive, very adult resort” by Chris Santilli. This is
an unauthorized guide written by beautiful lady who’s been to Hedo many
times and is filled with nearly 200 pages of information,
stories, and pictures. E-mail her direct at: CSantilli@mw.sisna.com
for the best price/service or special
order it from or your
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